Guilt

Yesterday I saw the group of crows when they killed a pigeon. I got so angry about them as I fed them and they acted like cold blooded killers and pecked  a pigeon to death. By the time I went out the bird was killed. I got so furious even though they were just birds. And today morning I saw a crow lying under the tree with broken wings and legs, desperately trying to stand up. I didn't go out and didn't help as I dont have a cage and place to hold a crow. Of course if I would be a good person I could make an effort to help but I didnt. In 20 minutes the bird was dead I believe someone has killed her of mercy.
I'm afraid this all has happened due to that anger I was sending out. I hope her soul has flown  high in the sky into the light and will return to our world soon. I send blessings to her soul and I ask for forgivness for being so silly and cruel.  It was not the first animal I did not help as many other people either didn't, leaving them on the street knowing that they won't make it. It's a big guilt personal and collective. Of course there are people with golden hearts who have done so much.
I keep being shown that I'm not that good person as I considered myself to be sometimes.
I imagine how this story sounds but I feel so broken hearted today about this bird and the thing I didn't do.

I wonder if I will ever be happy and well again...

A symphony of a rainy cloud...Spirits of the rain. A bit of white moonlight behind the clouds.  A a scent of the moist soil. Contemplating life...