quote from movie

This world is just an illusion, my friend, and as long as we remember that, we cannot be broken, cannot be forced to accept their reality.

Farewell...

I'm letting you go...
It was a beautiful dream, but it is impossible.
I want to die, I'm tired of living, tired of agony, tired to beat in closed doors, tired to bleed, tired to suffer losses. My wounds were too deep, punches were too strong. I will never rise...I just dreamed to hold your hand... I wished the skies were gray that day, my most happy day...The whole whirl of life would appear before my eyes this moment, everything became justified, took its place...Just one smile of yours, I needed nothing more in the whole world, in the whole universe...
Farewell...

quote from the movie

I am an orphan, orphans have no vanity.

Fairly accurate observation.
I grew up without father and to me vanity is also very not typical.

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Watched the movie "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty". Simple, nice movie, I liked it.
Bright, light emotions, sensation of a happy ending... I wish my life could contain a happy ending before the end.

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quote from the movie

I want you to know - I forgive you. It's so hard, so hard for me.  But I dont want to hate people, to be like you. Look at yourself,  it is so devastating for you.

dialogue from the movie

- Why God decides in one fell swoop to kill hundreds of innocent people? I do not understand. Ask him about it in the church.I think he would say that God's ways are inscrutable.
- No, he would say that you are crappy idiot. 

quote from the movie

Those, who fly in the first class are not always first-class people.

dialogue from the movie

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  They have committed ​​a great evil

 - I don't like that word
-  No, evil is a good word, very accurate...

 

 

"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.”
- Mark Twain

quote from the movie

- You should start jogging. What do you write at the moment?
- I think about writing a book.
- Well, well. About what?
- On the Russian history.
- You'd better jog.

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What does not kill you makes you fatter.

 

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Desire is like appetite, this disease must be overcome.

 quote from the movie

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I bleed, I lost everything, I ceased to be myself. I'm in a dark labyrinth with no exit, high in the sky I see your beautiful eyes, but you can't see me and never will. How I wish you could embrace me and comfort me. It will never happen. You will never wipe my tears and take my pain away. I will stay in this black and grey misty place, being eternally damned.

Night.

I love forest at night.
Soft light of the moon, an owl hooting, the whisper of eternity in my ear, black pines, icy captivating stars...
It is so easy to breathe at night in the woods.
The pain fades, memories are dim, dreams come alive.
I wish I would lie now on the cold forest grass and see nothing but the dark blue sky, celestial diamond fields and light haze of the clouds.
To feel alive.

"Don't talk to strangers", Dio was singing. Don't talk to close people...

I listen to the audiobook "The Wind in the Willows", finally. What a wonderful book! It's a pity that I dont have kids up to now, I would read it to them.

I'd trade the rest of my life for one day with you.

The one you love is a reflection.

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Too bad it is not working ahahaha

You are my swan song...

Termination of existence is the only cure for me ...

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Did I have insufficient pain that I had to be stabbed with this hopeless feeling to you...
I bleed, I don't want to love you, I can no longer love you ...
Why? Why?
I was burning in hell even before that.....
Don't want to look in your eyes, don't want to remember myself ...
This love is my last torture ...
It hurts me, hurts me...

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Rammstein-Liebe ist für alle da

Ich mach die Augen zu
 dann seh ich sie
 Ich sperr sie ein in meine Fantasie
 Ich mach die Augen zu
 sie wehrt sich nicht
 Liebe ist fur alle da
 Nicht für mich...

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Horny song...can't stop laughing...Der schlagbaum sollte oben sein ahahaha

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wl7fgTcd4Aw

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I am chaos. I have been turned into chaos long ago, flows of creation in me are envenomed as envenomed rivers. As king Midas, I turn everything I touch and love into the forgotten memory. My dreams  have poisoned the last pure spring of my life, the last untainted mirror of waters, that reflected my soul. Now my soul is different - black, scarlet funnel that pulls deeper and deeper. Something invisibly changed me, replaced innocence and unselfishness by scarlet, all-devouring flame. There is no way back, road ahead is closed and  the incarnadine flame burns inside me, I can only mourn the ashes.

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Doro - Kiss Me Like A Cobra

At the heart of all our actions there are two motives - sexual desire and desire to be great. Sigmund Freud.

Never wanted to be great. hahahahaha

I dream of winter...

Hypocrisy - On The Edge Of Madness

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I want to be a crow to fly wherever the wind carries ме, to cry bird's tears at your window, to have rest above the clear river, on a cold winter branch to cool down my heart and to soar in the holy moonlight - to purify my tired soul from sins and unneeded feelings, that have ruined everything.

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I'm at the crossroads... Where am I going to? To the light, to the darkness, into non existence ... I can't go back... My sacred happiness ended...

The funniest one, I guess...

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Cool!

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pain

Yesterday I walked in the place, very dear to my heart, which I will soon have to leave forever. Moon was reflected in the opaque edge of melting ice...incredible beauty.  I had a moment of painful, momentary "facing a loss" happiness, I was happy even without you. I would not trade the opportunity to be in this endlessly holy place, even to the possibility to take your hand or even to kiss you.
Such a simple thing for someone and so incredible to me... I was so happy there even before I knew of your existence. I was leaving this place, burying my heart there. It is so unfair, so painful. Wipe my tears, have pity on me.

Don't be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so. Belva Davis

If at first, the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it. Albert Einstein.

The little unremembered acts of kindness and love are the best parts of a person's life. William Wordsworth 1770-1850, Poet

Jim Rohn — 'We generally change ourselves for one of two reasons: inspiration or desperation.'

True!

And I called him well-mannered...hahaha

Farewell, my beloved creatures!

Anathema - One Last Goodbye HQ

Anathema - Fragile Dreams (lyrics)

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You will be fine without me. You will live a long and happy life, while I am just an exhausted creature who has no future. I was never meant for you, from the very beginning, from the very birth, when the dark, unfortunate star ignited above my head. I can't believe, can't hope anymore. I would give anything to make my cherished dream come true, but I have nothing, pain and hopelessness can't be taken as a price.
Be happy and loved! I will drown in my despair forever. I fought in vain. I am a victim, I must be a victim. It is a pity that victims have feelings too.

ahahahahahahahaha

Helloween - The dark ride (Studio version)

ahahahahahahaha

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ahahahaha

I have to wrest this feeling with root from my heart...

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5 years as I dwell in a burning hell, it changed me forever. Since that moment I was never the same anymore. But now I feel that I have changed again - one more other me. I beg you, destiny, give me a chance. I realized where was I wrong, where I punished myself undeservedly before I got the greatest punishment. So, Dear Universe, you know what I ask for with the tears in my eyes, please fulfill it, be merciful to me.

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ohh, yeah...

My misery has clipped my wings, now I will never fly to you...

hahahaha