You made up yor mind to destroy me, to break me into hundreds of small splinters, like a clay jug.  And you did it. I can no longer fight, the forces of light abandoned me long ago. I wish I could run away from you, fly in the wind with autumn leaves and gray herons and never recall of you, erase every  memory. I no longer need this burden. I wish I could see the dawn with new eyes, cry and not to remember of what, laugh as if there were no dark days, smile with the light that you were killing in me and  keep killing it even now, when I am bleeding in the dungeon built by you. Maybe you were not a builder, you just turned the deadbolt behind my back and have imprisoned me forever.
How I hate you... I must forgive you, but heavenly light gave me up and I can only cry out for vengeance. I wish your pride could crack once as a vessel which kept my soul that you broke.  I can not escape. I am obediently drinking poison, you are handing to me. I do not see the sunrise, only cold stone vaults, my heart dies, the birds do not come flying after me...