Graveworm - Abandoned By Heaven

"Life is easier than you'd think; all that is necessary is to accept the impossible, do without the indispensable, and bear the intolerable."
Kathleen Norris

Despair fills my soul...and fear... and I waste time... I'm afraid I'll never see a blue sky above my head the way I did so long ago...A blue sky and a birch grove nearby...A blue sky and pine branches above the small fringe where I came to cry everyday... Even then I sensed more life in me and my forest was comforting me... I still believed then that the nightmare will be over soon and I'll be fine and I'll run away and get a new wonderful life, free of past mistakes and all the bad feelings. Didn't I understand then that it could end only with my life's ending?

Anathema - Lost control

Also one of mу favorite bands back in the days...

In the movie I have heard the birds singing, as they sing at dawn in the summer.                           In vain I hope that someday they will sound the same for me, as in those early calm days.  I remember the chanting of the nightingale above the dark sleeping river, on the branch of the slumbering willow, in the glow of the sapphire night sky, at the place where my heart lived, that has become a part of me, where my already broken to pieces soul could find sanctuary and a short rest. But the place, a nightingale, a branch of a tree, a human heart ... there is no fairness in this life.

Funny and sad.

 Today is a religious holiday but I totally forgot of it, though I have heard of it just a few hours ago. So rare I listen to Dimmu Borgir nowadays but something made me listen to it exactly today. What guides us? It is a very small thing but still revealing.

Dimmu Borgir - In Death's Embrace

 To what shall I compare this life of ours?
         Even before I can say
         it is like a lightning flash or a dewdrop
         it is no more.

                           -    Sengai

Hypocrisy - The Final Chapter

Graveworm- When The Sky Turns Black with lyrics

Stand alone in the night

Sorrow in your mind

Tears in your eyes

Destroy your inner faith

Faces of death before your mind

Insanity for all the time

God will cry for your soul

Your heart is seeing black

Heaven of love is waiting you

Let us fly to the sky

End of life for every soul

All the same...

The river

The river again

-

All I can try to do...

“I loved you madly; in the distasteful work of the day, in the wakeful misery of the night, girded by sordid realities, or wandering through Paradises and Hells of visions into which I rushed, carrying your image in my arms, I loved you madly.”

Charles Dickens, The Mystery of Edwin Drood

"Until the whole world is free to agree with you or disagree with you, until you have given the freedom to everyone to like you or not like you, to love you or hate you, to see things as you see them, or to see things differently - until you have given the whole world its freedom - you'll never have your freedom"
~ Adyashanti

Evening walk...

I wish...

I surrender. .. Ghost light was better than total darkness ... foolish hopes were better than voidness and silence ... Live the moment ... But how much is the moment in the dark desert worth, under empty pitiless skies, where even the stars can't be seen...

“I hope that real love and truth are stronger in the end than any evil or misfortune in the world.”
― Charles Dickens, David Copperfield

-

"Pride is spiritual cancer: it eats up the very possibility of love, contentment, or even common sense."

Mere Christianity
C. S. Lewis

"Splinters in the heart, invisibly and erratically painful: this is how Fern has thought of her accumulating sorrows.... But perhaps they are more like the seeds inside a brightly patterned gourd, beyond germination but essential to the wholeness of the gourd itself."

-- Julia Glass, Three Junes

Swan roundel