Not to care of the beauty
Not to be afraid of death
Flight of a butterfly
Akunin, The Diamond Chariot
Monday, September 3, 2018
Tuesday, August 21, 2018
Comparing to my main issue, having a narcissistic mother seems like a small issue. I didn't even realize for the most of my life what kind of mother I have and how she influenced me. I really wish I could cut any contact with her but I can't due to my circumstances. It's funny but my mother was like the sun in the sky for me for so many years and even didn't see realize anything. Very sad it is for me.
Thursday, August 16, 2018
Monday, August 6, 2018
Sunday, July 29, 2018
Guilt
Yesterday I saw the group of crows when they killed a pigeon. I got so angry about them as I fed them and they acted like cold blooded killers and pecked a pigeon to death. By the time I went out the bird was killed. I got so furious even though they were just birds. And today morning I saw a crow lying under the tree with broken wings and legs, desperately trying to stand up. I didn't go out and didn't help as I dont have a cage and place to hold a crow. Of course if I would be a good person I could make an effort to help but I didnt. In 20 minutes the bird was dead I believe someone has killed her of mercy.
I'm afraid this all has happened due to that anger I was sending out. I hope her soul has flown high in the sky into the light and will return to our world soon. I send blessings to her soul and I ask for forgivness for being so silly and cruel. It was not the first animal I did not help as many other people either didn't, leaving them on the street knowing that they won't make it. It's a big guilt personal and collective. Of course there are people with golden hearts who have done so much.
I keep being shown that I'm not that good person as I considered myself to be sometimes.
I imagine how this story sounds but I feel so broken hearted today about this bird and the thing I didn't do.
I'm afraid this all has happened due to that anger I was sending out. I hope her soul has flown high in the sky into the light and will return to our world soon. I send blessings to her soul and I ask for forgivness for being so silly and cruel. It was not the first animal I did not help as many other people either didn't, leaving them on the street knowing that they won't make it. It's a big guilt personal and collective. Of course there are people with golden hearts who have done so much.
I keep being shown that I'm not that good person as I considered myself to be sometimes.
I imagine how this story sounds but I feel so broken hearted today about this bird and the thing I didn't do.
Saturday, July 21, 2018
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